Corporal punishment vs nurturing with love

Monday July 16, 2012

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/7/16/focus/11669406&sec=focus

The current trend is that we should use love – talk gently and nicely to the children and not touch even a single strand of hair.

I don’t know what others think, but I think corporal punishment and love are interrelated

Take for example, I love my son and so I will use corporal punishment when it is necessary.

Necessary means when he has crossed a certain line. The line is the ground rules that the child is told.

For example, Rule No. 1 – Do not fight or hurt others. When he does that, he’ll have to face a disciplinary session which is a strike on his palm with a cane or stick.

Why a cane or stick? It is important to use an instrument when carrying out corporal punishment because it tells the child that when he is naughty, the cane will be used.

It’s something like the Pavlov’s experiment – bell, food and saliva and in this case, fighting, discipline, cane.

When they are hostile, they will need to be removed from their friends and face corproal punishment.

Hands are not to be used to discipline a child because hands are used to do so many things.

We need to let the child know that hands are used to open the door, wash the dishes, cook, etc and most of all, to hug and carry the child. This also reinforces the ideology that the child should not use his/her hands to hurt others.

Of course, some people may argue that using corporal punishment will only give positive reinforcement for the child to be more violent. The fact is after reading so many articles, I find that there is absolutely no reason for not punishing when the parents/teachers know that it is used out of love for the child.

A Chinese proverb goes, “Beaten on the child’s flesh but the ache felt by the mother.”

Whose mother will willingly allow her child to be beaten? But wouldn’t it be better for the child to be beaten and taught now when they are still young rather than being beaten in jail later in life?

When used appropriately, it has a positive effect because we do it out of love and not anger.

And after the punishment, we should always let the child know that we still love him/her.

ALICE TONG
Kuala Lumpur